In yet another clinical study to show the unique efficacy of Lypitorin, Phizer-Plow has announced the the drug is now approved for use with Post-Transplant Random Ischemic Left Ventricle Bypass Hypercholesterolemified Arterial Malfunction Disorder in New England Syndrome (abbr. Post-Trans NE).
While initially approved for simple elevated cholesterol problems, Lypitorin’s labeling has blossomed in recent years to cover virtually every cardiovascular disease known to man, culminating now in the holy grail, Post-Trans NE.
“We are absolutely delighted!” exulted Robert Jarvik, inventor of the artificial heart and first physician to accurately
make up diagnose Post-Trans NE. “This terrible disease has afflicted at least 3 generations of one family in Vermont, and after several years of clinical trials, we have shown efficacy in addressing whatever symptom progression this syndrome apparently seems to be connected with. We think.”
Currently approved only for those living in New England with the syndrome, which presents with vague, poorly-defined symptoms of an indefinite etiology, it is believed that Phizer-Plow is aggressively pursuing approval for use in Missouri, the Florida Keys, and possibly northern Saskatchewan, where such symptoms have been reported for at least several months.
Because of the lengthy name and description of the syndrome, and due to the 47 other approved uses for the drug, Phizer-Plow now plans to re-package Lypitorin for sale in expanded pill bottles that can contain the 1,200-word label. The large, blue and white bong-like containers look suspiciously like dispensers for a product recently abandoned by the company, but a Phizer-Plow spokesperson quickly denied the connection, saying that it was only a coincidence that the expanded label happened to fit nicely onto containers shaped just like the 2 million unused Hexubera bongs currently in inventory.
The Pharma Side
Copyright 2007 Impactiviti LLC